Pamela Grace

What I learned from Muslims after a day of fasting for Ramadan.

First off, I’m not a Muslim. I don’t follow the tenets of Islam. Actually, I’m not religious at all. I was raised Southern Baptist but have been a devout 🙏 Atheist for the past two decades. So, why on earth would I – a non-believer – choose to fast for Ramadan?

By April 2022, I had been teaching middle and high school English at a small, private Islamic school for about three years. I was brand new to teaching, this being my first gig as an English teacher. With class sizes ranging from six to sixteen students, it was a very small school. Needless to say, after a time, especially at such a small school, I developed close, meaningful relationships with my students and coworkers. As their teacher, I was a big part of my students daily lives. I taught them English. They taught me Arabic.

When I first began working at this Islamic school, I knew next to nothing about Arabs or Muslims or Islam. I was essentially a blank slate. And I had many, many guffaws. For example when an entire room full of 9th graders gasped when I offered a high five to a male student on the first day of school. Later they explained ‘the halal gap,’ the utmost importance that men and women don’t touch, as well as what other things were counted as halal or haram. They snickered when I called the math teacher ‘Amo,’ mimicking their own platitudes, only to later share that it was an affectionate word that meant ‘uncle.’ They excitedly shared delicious food like biryani, falafel, and tabouleh and the girls taught me how to wrap a hijab.

I was like a new born baby experiencing new cultures for the first time. But in time, I learned to look out for my American faux pas. I began to understand the moods they would flow through on a daily basis, the customs they valued, and all the little secrets that teenagers try to hide.

But this wasn’t just a new experience for me. I was possibly the first atheist that they had actually gotten to know. Not as some far off possibility, as an entity that exists in the world, but instead as someone they interacted with on a daily basis. Perhaps someone they came to trust and love.

We couldn’t be more different and yet, there was still common ground. My students knew I didn’t follow a religion but when the month long celebration of Ramadan began, they asked me if I would fast with them for just one day. I agreed. If nothing else, I am a good sport, after all. I let them choose the day and marked it on the calendar. The students’ excitement continued to build the closer we got to the day of my fast – with news of it spreading throughout the student body. For some of them it was the disbelief that I was actually going to go through with it. Fasting is no easy task. But I did go through with it. I fasted from sun up to sun down. No food. No water. No delicious morning coffee as I listened to the eighth grade class read The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. Not even a measly stick of gum or a soft peppermint.

I’ll admit when I agreed to fast with them, I didn’t fully understand why they found it to be so exciting. However, I learned something valuable through that fourteen hours of fasting. For those young Muslims, it was never about me going without food or water. It wasn’t even about the stamina of completing a hard challenge just to prove I could do it. It was about participation. It was about community. It was about showing up and trying my best. It was about being present and sharing something that was important to them.

On the outside, it looked like going without food and drink for a day. But the reality was, that it was more about being a part of the community, showing my support, and giving a little of myself for someone else. And they loved it. Every class I taught that day wanted to hear all about my fast. They shared important details like when to break fast for Iftar and reminders to break my fast with dates. Their faces lit up when I was able to commiserate with them about how hungry and thirsty I was and then finding the resolve to continue, together.

When the sun set, I realized my day of fasting for Ramadan actually gave me a clearer picture of someone else’s experience in this world. It opened my eyes to the role we play in others lives’ and how important it is to just be present sometimes. In the long run, it wasn’t really difficult and it didn’t take that much of a commitment from me but it meant everything to them. It showed them – and myself – that we don’t have to believe the same thing, worship the same religion, or live similar lives to be supportive of one another. Sometimes all it takes is a little effort and compassion. Sometimes it really is only about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and seeing the world through their eyes. And, honestly, I think the world needs more of that – regardless of religion or politics or the socio-economic climate of our society. So, to all those who celebrate Ramadan, and even those that don’t: Eid Mubarak!

This essay was originally published on Medium on April 30, 2022.